Is it possible to say something about nothing?

I would just like to say good bye to Blogger. I have begun a new blog, so this is my last post! :-)

Alright, so this post is not going to be like the rest. Today at work, Michelle told me that she talked to Bethany and that I am definitely transferring to G/202 in the second week of July! Hello, that is only 3 weeks ago! I failed at the attempt to hold back my excitement. I was just TOO excited, I could not help but show it! Although, there is part of me that will be sad to leave Greenfield behind, everyday that I leave work I just keep wishing I wasn't there anymore. Everyone hates each other there, and it is obvious.

Anyways, I am going to see the midnight showing of Transformers tonight! I am so excited, but I have no idea how I am going to be able to stay awake until like 4 AM! At least I have the day off from work tomorrow, and I am already drinking my coffee to stay awake! This is soo unlike me, but I think it will be a blast!

Let me start off by acknowledging the fact that a common theme in my blog posts is my dislike towards work. This is my outlet for the revenge I can not have, because it is not mine for the taking. Besides, it is my blog so I get to say whatever I want!

Today did not go well. I started it off with doing tips, which sucked. We only made $1.26 so I barely got any. I basically had to spend 3 hours listening to Michelle complain and complain about how terrible being pregnant is and how she can't do any work because she is too sick. Okay, you are 4 weeks pregnant, big woop. There are 3 other pregnant women at our store who still manage to work hard and they are much further along! AND I asked Michelle to run a simple errand of getting me some quarter and penny rolls so I could finish rolling the tips and it took her an HOUR. Oh well, I got paid to sit around while she dilly dallied about. On top of that, I messed up somehow because I had 50 bucks left over. Then I got on the floor, in drive thru (of course) and I managed to screw everything up in a matter of minutes. I hit the wrong button on my register, but it was not as simple as voiding it out because I already sent the customer on her way, with the very last egg salad sandwhich. So there was no way to refund it, my manager had to call another store to get the sku in order to correct my till. Then I realized I was ringing on Cyndi's till. Great. I could get fired for that. That is not the end, the next customer ordered a bacon sandwhich, unfortunately I did not realize Cyndi already put that in the oven for me, so we ended up with two that were cooked, the LAST two. I just was not on my game today. I think I started to pick up again... I got my normal workload done even faster than normal. Sky did not come in again, no surprise there. She called to say she would be late (10 minutes after her shift started) and then she sat in the parking lot on her phone for an hour. HELLO, can't you see that our store is shielded completely by clear glass windows? We could easily see her out there. Then her friend comes in asking for her, we told her she wasn't there and so then she mysteriously leaves and goes out to her car with her. Then Sky comes in crying saying that she had a bad day and can't work. Are you kidding me!? Everyone has bad days. Heck, I came to work holding back tears a few weeks ago and I still worked my butt off. I understand that there are days where it is unbearable, but I can not remember a single time that Sky came to work on time, if at all. Of course, I had to stay late after my already long day... and with my unbegun paper hanging over my head. I got home at 4:30 and wrote my rough draft in 30 minutes and put together a presentation in the other 30. I decided to just blow off my reading assignment that was also due, because it was the least of the impact on my grade. I took Sarah to work, picked up some Panda and proceeded to my class. Come to find out, the paper AND the presentation aren't due until Wednesday. So basically I came with everything but the one assignment that actually was due. Luckily, my professor showed me mercy and said I could turn it in on Wednesday despite her "no late work" policy. She could see how much work I had done and that I just got mixed up. After class, I was invited to a party that I would never go to, but the point is, I got invited by pretty much the most attractive guy I've ever seen. He is not my type at all, but hey, I have never been invited to a party before haha. Then I was looking forward to the midnight showing of transformers that I thought was on tonight, but I was wrong about that too! It is tomorrow night, and the group I was going with probably won't be able to go tomorrow. I am so bummed. On top of that, I already had 2 cups of coffee and a soda in preparation for the late night, so I will not be sleeping any time in the near future.

What a day.
I am mostly looking forward to Friday which will be an all day adventure with one of my greatest friends. We were going to go to the lake, but it looks like that would be pretty tricky for two minors. So we are coming up with an alternative day of fun! I am stoked! Friday is my day off from school and work all at once. It doesn't get much better than that. And I won't be covering any shifts that day, nooooooo thank you.

Oh and to end on a high note, I recieved an A on my philosophy paper. She said that she automatically gives everyone a C, because that is what an average paper deserves. She wrote so much feedback on my paper about how great it is and how well I support my thesis, in spite of the difficulty of it. It practically made my night, especially after all the work I put into it and how open and honest it required me to be.

I think it is safe to say that my blog is pretty dang awesome.
Today was not my favorite, work was not too pleasant. In addition, a friend clearly communicated the value of our friendship to me tonight through certain actions. Apparently, it means nothing. I honestly do not care any longer. I have stuck around, trying to encourage and help.. you don't want it. Good freaking bye.

I am looking forward to this week, in spite of it being absolutely crazy once again! There is a lot of fun to be had and many adventures calling my name!

Today was one of those days that I would conider alright. Not bad, not too great, just in the middle. Working two days in a row at Signal Butte, then coming back to my store on a Saturday just made me remember how bad it is at my store. I hate it there. Heck, they even got to Norbert. I thought that was impossible.

I am just so BEYOND irritated with everything, especially Michelle. What I want to know is how you lose the week's schedule so closely after you make it. I need to know when I'm working this week! And this week is only one day away! I basically can never plan anything in advance because I never know my schedule ahead of time and on top of that, it is usually messed up in some way or another.

I always go there with the greatest, genuine attitude and I always leave feeling so frustrated and upset. Why is Kristen a shift?? She doesn't even know how to close down a bar or when to send someone on their lunch. Today she made me go on my break one hour after I got there. So basically I worked 6 hours with not one break. That isn't so bad, except I practically closed the store for them. Michelle only scheduled two people to close which clearly isn't enough, so I was trying to get everything done for them before I left. I did. They did not even help me either. They would just stand around eating, saying "we have so much done! We don't even have anything to work on!!" Yeah, that is because I was running around sweating like a pig.

I just get so irritated, I guess I should let it go. No one is making me work that hard, I could just slack off like everyone else. I just wouldn't feel right doing that.. So I guess, get over it?

My hair is a lot more red than it was before. I am not sure if I like it.
Tomorrow is Father's Day and I am working right through it. I don't think my dad even likes Father's Day. I got him a card though. It is kind of weird, but my dad is like my best friend that I never really get to see, but when I do, we have the best talks. He gets my logic and it is marvelous.

I am so exhausted, I doubt I will stay up late this time.

You can learn a lot about someone in just 6 minutes. Today was the first day that I successfully stayed planted at the drive thru window, with each and every customer until their drink was handed to them. I did this for 8 and a half hours. I met so many people and made so many friends! I even had the rudest lady I have ever met talking to me nicely when I was done with her!
Why can't someone ordinary, such as myself, live in an extraordinary way?
It is more fun that way, and I have been challenging myself all week to live up to it.

I have transformed into one of those people who can just live off of small hours of sleep each night. It's 11:30 and I am not one bit tired, in fact I am coloring my hair at this moment! I am even going to late night movie next week with Lauren, after we go to a party following my class! It is going to be a very fun night. Heck, life is fun. Life is busy and hard, but I have decided to make the best of it, and believe me, that makes all the difference! Besides my life is hard, compared to what? Yeah right. I am tempted to drink some coffee, it sounds so appealing. I better not, it is way too late to be doing a thing like that.

I made it a rule of life to never regret and never look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy... you can not build on it, it is only good to wallow in.

I want to go on a road trip, and I am going to. I need to figure out where and find someone to go with me. I think somewhere I have never been, maybe Colorado or Oregan. That would be lovely. I need to get out of here, away from life. Hm, maybe I will go at the beginning of August, before Fall classes start. I was going to have a HUGE birthday party, but I changed my mind. I do not want my birthday to be about all of my guests, it sounds selfish, but I spend so much time being a friend and not having a friend. So on my birthday I am going to keep to myself and enjoy it. Maybe I will be in Colorado on my birthday. I want to go with Lauren and maybe someone else too. What about Zeah?

The medicine is working, my face is starting to really clear up. People are even noticing a difference, maybe it is because I am wearing different makeup lately. I focus it on my eyes instead of my face. I like getting those compliments. I am by no means insecure, but it is always a good feeling to get noticed.

I don't appreciate art. I should. I don't want to write a paper about a girl in an office in a picture I do not understand.
If a guy runs out of class every night yelling your name, just trying to catch up to you so he can walk with you for a couple minutes to your truck, which is in a whole different parking lot from his vehicle, does that mean he likes you? I have been wondering.

I have been reading a book recommended to me by my philosophy teacher in high school. I do not like the book at all, I keep on wondering why she thought I would. That is why I continue to read it, I am waiting to figure that out.

I am starting to get tired. I think I messed up my hair, that is not going to be good. I drove really far for no reason today and I loved it. I love driving aimlessly just to jam out to music and practice going the speed limit. I didn't exceed the speed limit once today. I think it is comical how whenever I decided to drive aimlessly around the valley, I never fail to end up at Starbucks. The worst part is, I know where every single store is in a 20 mile radius, and the even worst part is that at every one of those stores, I know at least one Barista there. That is how dedicated I am to Starbucks. It is practially my life. I do love it a lot. I wonder why I have been drinking Caramel Macchiatos lately. They are too sweet for me, but lately I love them. Of course I have to get extra shots to balance it out. I have at least 8 espresso shots every single day.

Saturday just began, I am working today. I hate working on Saturdays. Sundays are my favorite. I really hate Saturdays. I know I am going to be in drive thru and I hate it in drive thru, especially on Saturdays.

I wonder if I will ever find the magazine that I have been looking for.
I have six pins.
My paycheck is going to be huge. Let me calculate real quick, I will be getting over 500 dollars in one paycheck. That means I will have over a thousand in my bank account, which means I will easily pay for Fall semester and books AND a vacation. I am definitely going on one. I also make over 60 dollars a week in tips. If I saved a small percentage of that, I think that would be smart.

I wonder why people always give up on me.
I don't think my head should be burning like this... I think I definitely messed up my hair some how. Maybe it wasn't wise to do it at 11:30 pm.

I think I will sleep in tomorrow. I am working at 1:30 so I think I will enjoy the morning.
Goodnight

There is no acceptable way to describe how amazing God is. Lately, life has pushed me to the edge several times where I was on the brink of just giving up. Of course, that would have been the easy way out and God wasn't about to let that happen. So after much resistance, I decided to step up and obey. Now everything seems to be working out, little by little and the stress of life is suddenly starting to ease up. I've begun the last 3 days with encouraging music that speaks to my heart and the words written in Psalms which has become my favorite book. I have learned so much this week, things I thought I had already mastered long ago. I think God really likes to put me in my place, but I'm glad. Once my perspective molds to my worldly outlook everything takes a sharp turn for the worst, until I finally give up the reins to the One who is really in control of everything. Just starting my days off with Him has helped immensely. I feel like I could handle anything throughout the day and I know I am acting closer to my true character as a daughter of Christ. The more I think of this, the more excited I become.

Life is hard, but I love it. I would be so bored if it was easy. There would be no point to it. So, I'm finally embracing all the trials and letting God figure them out! I can't wait to see how he uses me in the future, through this point in my life that I've been waiting for. I'm finally through the pettiness of high school and on to REAL life. I couldn't be happier.

I finally realized today that this is just the way life is. LIFE IS HARD. Life sucks. Life is consumed by temptation, trials and just plain yuck. God puts it there to bring me to Him. I was reminded of that tonight. So, after that realization, I decided that I am going to embrace it. I know I can do anything with God at my side! I know I have many more weeks like the last one in my future that just suck in every way imaginable and I'm glad! I know I can make it through with no problem.

Work is tough, but I've been getting 40 hours a week. Granted, it's not fair in any way the kind of situations I've been put into. But that is what I'm going to focus on.. I'm getting the money I need. I am showing God's love to my coworkers by stepping up every single day.

Friends are tough. I have gotten screwed over by at least 3 people this week alone. It hurts and it's hard. God showed me that I placed my friends above Him, as an idol. I relyed on them instead of Him and now it's time to go to the one who can really do the impossible. There are seasons to friendships and I have entered into a new season. I've made countless friends this week and I am looking forward to growing relationships with them. My birthday party is going to be so much fun, I have 100 people and counting on my invite list. Even though it is rare for me to enjoy my birthday, I decided to make it fun this time.

Exhaustion is tough, but I can handle it. I've become acclamated to an average of 4 hours of sleep with no problem. I work 8 or 9 hour days, 6 days a week and have a minimum of 4 hours of homework during the week on top of 3 hour classes at night. I don't have time to sleep anymore, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Luckily God has provided me with the strength I need to make it through every single day.

Boys are tough. Once again, I've had a miserable night with someone I thought could never be a jerk. I am taking all this to mean that I'm not meant to have a boyfriend during this time. I have my own goals and I'm looking for a responsible man with real ambitions and a Godly heart. I've yet to find one that fits this description. It's disappointing that I spent 70 bucks of hard earned money on a worthless night.

I got fed up with the tough factor this week. I was reminded of how mighty my savior is tonight. I have never felt so safe. This is who I was called to be and I intend to do my absolute best to live up to it. I constantly struggle, suffer and fall but that is not considered failure in His eyes. I'm scared, but I'm just holding on to God who is going to get me through. He wouldn't hand me anything I couldn't handle.

I'm ready.

As I woke up today, to yet another unfortunate occurrance, I felt a sudden weight attach itself to me once more. That is when I remembered my favorite verse of 1st Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.
I have never felt so comforted in my life. I think it helped me get through today, otherwise I would have snapped.
I really don't understand why God wants me to go through all that I am, all at once, but I know it is growing me more and more every second in HIM.
It is so hard and I am so tired.
It's taking everything in me to just not give up.


Pile your troubles on God's shoulders--he'll carry your load, he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin. Psalm 55:22

Everything is so hard.
It keeps getting harder and harder.
And now, I am alone.

I'm not meant to have a best friend. I never have. I dont' know why I thought that would ever change. I just figured out why.
No one is able to keep up with me.

Hello.
My name's Bekah.
It's nice to meet you!

I can honestly say that tonight was one of the best nights of my life. I was swept off of my feet by someone I absoluetly adore. I think it's safe to say that it's mutual.

After all that's happened lately, it's refreshing to spend some time with a true friend, who I know will stick with me, even if I tell him something he doesn't want to hear.

It's weird when you listen to someone talk about their feelings and it's like you swallowed a mirror and are staring at your own heart. I've never met someone who understands where I'm coming from quite as closely as this friend of mine. It's reassuring to have someone on the same page, that expects the same things as me and will be there to support me when it feels as if I'm all alone.

I wish the night didn't have to end.

Today has been a wonderful day. I started out at work, where I recieved a great compliment. The store I worked at yesterday, Ellsworth, the asm there called my store to let me know how much all of their customers liked me and wondering where I was! I guess I made quite an impression! That was a major compliment which got my day off to a great start. I also worked with my favorite people today! Cyndi, Ashley, Sky, Sarah, Smash, Gary. It doesn't get better than that. I also had a wonderful conversation with someone about God in the drive-thru! The only bad part about work was when I sliced my thumb on the drawer to the esspresso machine and my blood began gushing out all over the place. It's actually still bleeding. It grosses me out.

Next, I went to my business class and am very excited about it! I became instant friends with Matt, Don and Tara which I always love making new friends! We ended up getting done with class two hours early, so that was a nice treat!

After I got home, I was asked on a date, which I'm not sure how I feel about. Someone I've known for a very long time. I accepted, of course. After all, he is a great guy and one of the greatest friends I've ever had. He treats me with a great deal of respect and he is kind of my opposite. They say, opposites attract? We'll see. I'm not sure I see him that way but I am looking forward to seeing him again after almost 2 years apart!

I love everything about my life. I love the feeling of overcoming my fears. I love meeting new people and I love not being scared of who I am.