Is it possible to say something about nothing?

Educated

2009-07-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

I came across my seemingly ancient blog posts from months ago which made me ask myself when the last time I had written out my thoughts, the answer being the last time I posted on here. Writing is one of my greatest passions and my clearest form of communication, for me to stop would be equivalent to asking my dad to quit correcting my grammatical errors or handwriting on the fridge notes.
Besides, after reading through posts from the recent past, I realized I had so much to say as well as realizing how much I enjoy thinking back to all I have been through and my thoughts at that exact place in life.
I don't think I have allowed myself enough credit to how horrible my senior year was. To keep my composure perfect is like asking a 4 year-old to speak perfect English. I will admit that I sucked in so many ways; at maintaining good grades, friendships, and a good attitude while at work. However, I had an entire schedule full of teachers who condescended me and treated me so badly that it took everything in me to keep my mouth shut and take it. That was the best way I knew how to show God's love. On top of that, I had a bad support system, dealing with Sarah who was choosing to rebel at the time and growing so close to a friend who was just using me only when I benefitted her. To go even further, work had become such an immense stress that pushed on my shoulders every single day. I was expected to achieve ridiculous things that no one else could even dream of accomplishing. Not only was I instructed to do things that no one wanted to do, I was placed in drive-thru so often it seemed as if the only words that escaped my lips were those composing my greeting message to customers. Beyond all of that, I was even required to maintain a great attitude, as if it were my privledge to take part in these tedious, tiring, and monotonous tasks every single day. I am surprised at how well I got through it all, to be perfectly honest. Of course, I could never take the credit of that. If it weren't for the presence of God in my life, I would have screwed up so much worse. I am thankful to be done with such an emotionally exhausting stage of my life to say the least.
Although that part of my life ended, a new stressful era begun. I still had the pressure of a terrible work environment, but my hours were significantly increased to where I would be spending my entire life at that store. The only time I had off, I would either be at school or working on my excessive amount of homework. If I wasn't doing any of those things, I would be trying to save a friendship that couldn't be saved. I got through all of that, and I learned so much this summer through all of the things I have had to face head on.
Now, I have entered the rewarding stage of my summer and I couldn't be more excited. Although I am completely broke, it has brought my family so close together. We are going through this financially stressful time together and it has gone such a long way. My parents are my cheerleaders, the ones who always seem to give me pep talks to continue on, even when life seems unbearably difficult. I have also grown so much closer to my heavenly Father, who I could not get through one minute without. I can't even start my day without a glimpse of His Word and the picture of the cross melted in my mind. All the hard work at my old store, and my new store has finally paid off. Not only do I absolutely love going to work again, I am being promoted on MY BIRTHDAY. That is in two weeks. Two weeks that will fly by! Out of all the people who could step up to take the position, Bethany chose me. God could not have blessed me in a better way, at a better time. I have all the time in the world to focus on this new challenge and embrace the fun that is going to come with it. I will also be recieving a pay raise, so that will help me start school even sooner than I had imagined. Most of my friendships that suffered due to my stress level over senior year have been restored, which is so nice and comforting; especially being able to see the changes God has made in their lives.
To address a failed relationship, I am completely at peace. I will fully admit that I failed to set the boundaries at the proper time, but I wasn't prepared to take that on. All I knew was that I needed some comfort from a Christian friend and that was provided. When I started getting better and moving on from such a tough stage in life, I started getting back to my normal self; the one that holds boundaries and lines more secure than it being planted in the earth. I've always been that way. I'm sorry he got used to me not noticing when he crossed a line. I can't help that is the person I am. Our season of friendship is well past over and I can only continue to pray that he will see the benefits and blessing of that. I wish it didn't have to end so painfully. I am so relieved to finally be moving on and I hope he feels the same.
Last night was my first chance to attend seven:ten. It was the best experience church has created for me. I felt so intimate with God, like he was speaking to me, instead of Paul. I felt no judgement there, but a strong welcome. I met some new people that were very encouraging to me. I was reunited with some old friends, and it was so cool to see how their lives have changed. There was one instance of immaturity, but it came from someone that I have come to expect that behavior. I'm beginning to view it comically because of how low he will stoop.
Excitement and thankfulness are the words to experss where my life is at right now. I can't wait to see how God uses all of my newly acquired time to show His love to those around me and teach me so much more.

I will continue to post every so often. After reading all my previous posts, I noticed that I can be slightly sentimental at times. I enjoy seeing where life and God have taken me, which gives me strength to keep moving on!

Farewell!

2009-06-27T22:54:00.000-07:00

I would just like to say good bye to Blogger. I have begun a new blog, so this is my last post! :-)

The clouds have finally parted!

2009-06-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

Alright, so this post is not going to be like the rest. Today at work, Michelle told me that she talked to Bethany and that I am definitely transferring to G/202 in the second week of July! Hello, that is only 3 weeks ago! I failed at the attempt to hold back my excitement. I was just TOO excited, I could not help but show it! Although, there is part of me that will be sad to leave Greenfield behind, everyday that I leave work I just keep wishing I wasn't there anymore. Everyone hates each other there, and it is obvious.

Anyways, I am going to see the midnight showing of Transformers tonight! I am so excited, but I have no idea how I am going to be able to stay awake until like 4 AM! At least I have the day off from work tomorrow, and I am already drinking my coffee to stay awake! This is soo unlike me, but I think it will be a blast!

Inhale, Exhale.

2009-06-22T22:52:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by acknowledging the fact that a common theme in my blog posts is my dislike towards work. This is my outlet for the revenge I can not have, because it is not mine for the taking. Besides, it is my blog so I get to say whatever I want!

Today did not go well. I started it off with doing tips, which sucked. We only made $1.26 so I barely got any. I basically had to spend 3 hours listening to Michelle complain and complain about how terrible being pregnant is and how she can't do any work because she is too sick. Okay, you are 4 weeks pregnant, big woop. There are 3 other pregnant women at our store who still manage to work hard and they are much further along! AND I asked Michelle to run a simple errand of getting me some quarter and penny rolls so I could finish rolling the tips and it took her an HOUR. Oh well, I got paid to sit around while she dilly dallied about. On top of that, I messed up somehow because I had 50 bucks left over. Then I got on the floor, in drive thru (of course) and I managed to screw everything up in a matter of minutes. I hit the wrong button on my register, but it was not as simple as voiding it out because I already sent the customer on her way, with the very last egg salad sandwhich. So there was no way to refund it, my manager had to call another store to get the sku in order to correct my till. Then I realized I was ringing on Cyndi's till. Great. I could get fired for that. That is not the end, the next customer ordered a bacon sandwhich, unfortunately I did not realize Cyndi already put that in the oven for me, so we ended up with two that were cooked, the LAST two. I just was not on my game today. I think I started to pick up again... I got my normal workload done even faster than normal. Sky did not come in again, no surprise there. She called to say she would be late (10 minutes after her shift started) and then she sat in the parking lot on her phone for an hour. HELLO, can't you see that our store is shielded completely by clear glass windows? We could easily see her out there. Then her friend comes in asking for her, we told her she wasn't there and so then she mysteriously leaves and goes out to her car with her. Then Sky comes in crying saying that she had a bad day and can't work. Are you kidding me!? Everyone has bad days. Heck, I came to work holding back tears a few weeks ago and I still worked my butt off. I understand that there are days where it is unbearable, but I can not remember a single time that Sky came to work on time, if at all. Of course, I had to stay late after my already long day... and with my unbegun paper hanging over my head. I got home at 4:30 and wrote my rough draft in 30 minutes and put together a presentation in the other 30. I decided to just blow off my reading assignment that was also due, because it was the least of the impact on my grade. I took Sarah to work, picked up some Panda and proceeded to my class. Come to find out, the paper AND the presentation aren't due until Wednesday. So basically I came with everything but the one assignment that actually was due. Luckily, my professor showed me mercy and said I could turn it in on Wednesday despite her "no late work" policy. She could see how much work I had done and that I just got mixed up. After class, I was invited to a party that I would never go to, but the point is, I got invited by pretty much the most attractive guy I've ever seen. He is not my type at all, but hey, I have never been invited to a party before haha. Then I was looking forward to the midnight showing of transformers that I thought was on tonight, but I was wrong about that too! It is tomorrow night, and the group I was going with probably won't be able to go tomorrow. I am so bummed. On top of that, I already had 2 cups of coffee and a soda in preparation for the late night, so I will not be sleeping any time in the near future.

What a day.
I am mostly looking forward to Friday which will be an all day adventure with one of my greatest friends. We were going to go to the lake, but it looks like that would be pretty tricky for two minors. So we are coming up with an alternative day of fun! I am stoked! Friday is my day off from school and work all at once. It doesn't get much better than that. And I won't be covering any shifts that day, nooooooo thank you.

Oh and to end on a high note, I recieved an A on my philosophy paper. She said that she automatically gives everyone a C, because that is what an average paper deserves. She wrote so much feedback on my paper about how great it is and how well I support my thesis, in spite of the difficulty of it. It practically made my night, especially after all the work I put into it and how open and honest it required me to be.

Everyday is the start of something beautiful

2009-06-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

I think it is safe to say that my blog is pretty dang awesome.
Today was not my favorite, work was not too pleasant. In addition, a friend clearly communicated the value of our friendship to me tonight through certain actions. Apparently, it means nothing. I honestly do not care any longer. I have stuck around, trying to encourage and help.. you don't want it. Good freaking bye.

I am looking forward to this week, in spite of it being absolutely crazy once again! There is a lot of fun to be had and many adventures calling my name!

Another day at the Bux

2009-06-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days that I would conider alright. Not bad, not too great, just in the middle. Working two days in a row at Signal Butte, then coming back to my store on a Saturday just made me remember how bad it is at my store. I hate it there. Heck, they even got to Norbert. I thought that was impossible.

I am just so BEYOND irritated with everything, especially Michelle. What I want to know is how you lose the week's schedule so closely after you make it. I need to know when I'm working this week! And this week is only one day away! I basically can never plan anything in advance because I never know my schedule ahead of time and on top of that, it is usually messed up in some way or another.

I always go there with the greatest, genuine attitude and I always leave feeling so frustrated and upset. Why is Kristen a shift?? She doesn't even know how to close down a bar or when to send someone on their lunch. Today she made me go on my break one hour after I got there. So basically I worked 6 hours with not one break. That isn't so bad, except I practically closed the store for them. Michelle only scheduled two people to close which clearly isn't enough, so I was trying to get everything done for them before I left. I did. They did not even help me either. They would just stand around eating, saying "we have so much done! We don't even have anything to work on!!" Yeah, that is because I was running around sweating like a pig.

I just get so irritated, I guess I should let it go. No one is making me work that hard, I could just slack off like everyone else. I just wouldn't feel right doing that.. So I guess, get over it?

My hair is a lot more red than it was before. I am not sure if I like it.
Tomorrow is Father's Day and I am working right through it. I don't think my dad even likes Father's Day. I got him a card though. It is kind of weird, but my dad is like my best friend that I never really get to see, but when I do, we have the best talks. He gets my logic and it is marvelous.

I am so exhausted, I doubt I will stay up late this time.

Late Night Thought Smoothie

2009-06-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

You can learn a lot about someone in just 6 minutes. Today was the first day that I successfully stayed planted at the drive thru window, with each and every customer until their drink was handed to them. I did this for 8 and a half hours. I met so many people and made so many friends! I even had the rudest lady I have ever met talking to me nicely when I was done with her!
Why can't someone ordinary, such as myself, live in an extraordinary way?
It is more fun that way, and I have been challenging myself all week to live up to it.

I have transformed into one of those people who can just live off of small hours of sleep each night. It's 11:30 and I am not one bit tired, in fact I am coloring my hair at this moment! I am even going to late night movie next week with Lauren, after we go to a party following my class! It is going to be a very fun night. Heck, life is fun. Life is busy and hard, but I have decided to make the best of it, and believe me, that makes all the difference! Besides my life is hard, compared to what? Yeah right. I am tempted to drink some coffee, it sounds so appealing. I better not, it is way too late to be doing a thing like that.

I made it a rule of life to never regret and never look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy... you can not build on it, it is only good to wallow in.

I want to go on a road trip, and I am going to. I need to figure out where and find someone to go with me. I think somewhere I have never been, maybe Colorado or Oregan. That would be lovely. I need to get out of here, away from life. Hm, maybe I will go at the beginning of August, before Fall classes start. I was going to have a HUGE birthday party, but I changed my mind. I do not want my birthday to be about all of my guests, it sounds selfish, but I spend so much time being a friend and not having a friend. So on my birthday I am going to keep to myself and enjoy it. Maybe I will be in Colorado on my birthday. I want to go with Lauren and maybe someone else too. What about Zeah?

The medicine is working, my face is starting to really clear up. People are even noticing a difference, maybe it is because I am wearing different makeup lately. I focus it on my eyes instead of my face. I like getting those compliments. I am by no means insecure, but it is always a good feeling to get noticed.

I don't appreciate art. I should. I don't want to write a paper about a girl in an office in a picture I do not understand.
If a guy runs out of class every night yelling your name, just trying to catch up to you so he can walk with you for a couple minutes to your truck, which is in a whole different parking lot from his vehicle, does that mean he likes you? I have been wondering.

I have been reading a book recommended to me by my philosophy teacher in high school. I do not like the book at all, I keep on wondering why she thought I would. That is why I continue to read it, I am waiting to figure that out.

I am starting to get tired. I think I messed up my hair, that is not going to be good. I drove really far for no reason today and I loved it. I love driving aimlessly just to jam out to music and practice going the speed limit. I didn't exceed the speed limit once today. I think it is comical how whenever I decided to drive aimlessly around the valley, I never fail to end up at Starbucks. The worst part is, I know where every single store is in a 20 mile radius, and the even worst part is that at every one of those stores, I know at least one Barista there. That is how dedicated I am to Starbucks. It is practially my life. I do love it a lot. I wonder why I have been drinking Caramel Macchiatos lately. They are too sweet for me, but lately I love them. Of course I have to get extra shots to balance it out. I have at least 8 espresso shots every single day.

Saturday just began, I am working today. I hate working on Saturdays. Sundays are my favorite. I really hate Saturdays. I know I am going to be in drive thru and I hate it in drive thru, especially on Saturdays.

I wonder if I will ever find the magazine that I have been looking for.
I have six pins.
My paycheck is going to be huge. Let me calculate real quick, I will be getting over 500 dollars in one paycheck. That means I will have over a thousand in my bank account, which means I will easily pay for Fall semester and books AND a vacation. I am definitely going on one. I also make over 60 dollars a week in tips. If I saved a small percentage of that, I think that would be smart.

I wonder why people always give up on me.
I don't think my head should be burning like this... I think I definitely messed up my hair some how. Maybe it wasn't wise to do it at 11:30 pm.

I think I will sleep in tomorrow. I am working at 1:30 so I think I will enjoy the morning.
Goodnight

Indescribable

2009-06-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

There is no acceptable way to describe how amazing God is. Lately, life has pushed me to the edge several times where I was on the brink of just giving up. Of course, that would have been the easy way out and God wasn't about to let that happen. So after much resistance, I decided to step up and obey. Now everything seems to be working out, little by little and the stress of life is suddenly starting to ease up. I've begun the last 3 days with encouraging music that speaks to my heart and the words written in Psalms which has become my favorite book. I have learned so much this week, things I thought I had already mastered long ago. I think God really likes to put me in my place, but I'm glad. Once my perspective molds to my worldly outlook everything takes a sharp turn for the worst, until I finally give up the reins to the One who is really in control of everything. Just starting my days off with Him has helped immensely. I feel like I could handle anything throughout the day and I know I am acting closer to my true character as a daughter of Christ. The more I think of this, the more excited I become.

Life is hard, but I love it. I would be so bored if it was easy. There would be no point to it. So, I'm finally embracing all the trials and letting God figure them out! I can't wait to see how he uses me in the future, through this point in my life that I've been waiting for. I'm finally through the pettiness of high school and on to REAL life. I couldn't be happier.

Bring it on

2009-06-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

I finally realized today that this is just the way life is. LIFE IS HARD. Life sucks. Life is consumed by temptation, trials and just plain yuck. God puts it there to bring me to Him. I was reminded of that tonight. So, after that realization, I decided that I am going to embrace it. I know I can do anything with God at my side! I know I have many more weeks like the last one in my future that just suck in every way imaginable and I'm glad! I know I can make it through with no problem.

Work is tough, but I've been getting 40 hours a week. Granted, it's not fair in any way the kind of situations I've been put into. But that is what I'm going to focus on.. I'm getting the money I need. I am showing God's love to my coworkers by stepping up every single day.

Friends are tough. I have gotten screwed over by at least 3 people this week alone. It hurts and it's hard. God showed me that I placed my friends above Him, as an idol. I relyed on them instead of Him and now it's time to go to the one who can really do the impossible. There are seasons to friendships and I have entered into a new season. I've made countless friends this week and I am looking forward to growing relationships with them. My birthday party is going to be so much fun, I have 100 people and counting on my invite list. Even though it is rare for me to enjoy my birthday, I decided to make it fun this time.

Exhaustion is tough, but I can handle it. I've become acclamated to an average of 4 hours of sleep with no problem. I work 8 or 9 hour days, 6 days a week and have a minimum of 4 hours of homework during the week on top of 3 hour classes at night. I don't have time to sleep anymore, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Luckily God has provided me with the strength I need to make it through every single day.

Boys are tough. Once again, I've had a miserable night with someone I thought could never be a jerk. I am taking all this to mean that I'm not meant to have a boyfriend during this time. I have my own goals and I'm looking for a responsible man with real ambitions and a Godly heart. I've yet to find one that fits this description. It's disappointing that I spent 70 bucks of hard earned money on a worthless night.

I got fed up with the tough factor this week. I was reminded of how mighty my savior is tonight. I have never felt so safe. This is who I was called to be and I intend to do my absolute best to live up to it. I constantly struggle, suffer and fall but that is not considered failure in His eyes. I'm scared, but I'm just holding on to God who is going to get me through. He wouldn't hand me anything I couldn't handle.

I'm ready.

Comfort for when the world seems cold

2009-06-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

As I woke up today, to yet another unfortunate occurrance, I felt a sudden weight attach itself to me once more. That is when I remembered my favorite verse of 1st Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.
I have never felt so comforted in my life. I think it helped me get through today, otherwise I would have snapped.
I really don't understand why God wants me to go through all that I am, all at once, but I know it is growing me more and more every second in HIM.
It is so hard and I am so tired.
It's taking everything in me to just not give up.

Pile your troubles on God's shoulders--he'll carry your load, he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin. Psalm 55:22

None

2009-06-12T17:04:00.000-07:00

Everything is so hard.
It keeps getting harder and harder.
And now, I am alone.

Those to come.

2009-06-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not meant to have a best friend. I never have. I dont' know why I thought that would ever change. I just figured out why.
No one is able to keep up with me.

Hello.
My name's Bekah.
It's nice to meet you!

"You just got a sparkle in your eye!"

2009-06-05T23:17:00.001-07:00

I can honestly say that tonight was one of the best nights of my life. I was swept off of my feet by someone I absoluetly adore. I think it's safe to say that it's mutual.

After all that's happened lately, it's refreshing to spend some time with a true friend, who I know will stick with me, even if I tell him something he doesn't want to hear.

It's weird when you listen to someone talk about their feelings and it's like you swallowed a mirror and are staring at your own heart. I've never met someone who understands where I'm coming from quite as closely as this friend of mine. It's reassuring to have someone on the same page, that expects the same things as me and will be there to support me when it feels as if I'm all alone.

I wish the night didn't have to end.

Life is a daring adventure

2009-06-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

Today has been a wonderful day. I started out at work, where I recieved a great compliment. The store I worked at yesterday, Ellsworth, the asm there called my store to let me know how much all of their customers liked me and wondering where I was! I guess I made quite an impression! That was a major compliment which got my day off to a great start. I also worked with my favorite people today! Cyndi, Ashley, Sky, Sarah, Smash, Gary. It doesn't get better than that. I also had a wonderful conversation with someone about God in the drive-thru! The only bad part about work was when I sliced my thumb on the drawer to the esspresso machine and my blood began gushing out all over the place. It's actually still bleeding. It grosses me out.

Next, I went to my business class and am very excited about it! I became instant friends with Matt, Don and Tara which I always love making new friends! We ended up getting done with class two hours early, so that was a nice treat!

After I got home, I was asked on a date, which I'm not sure how I feel about. Someone I've known for a very long time. I accepted, of course. After all, he is a great guy and one of the greatest friends I've ever had. He treats me with a great deal of respect and he is kind of my opposite. They say, opposites attract? We'll see. I'm not sure I see him that way but I am looking forward to seeing him again after almost 2 years apart!

I love everything about my life. I love the feeling of overcoming my fears. I love meeting new people and I love not being scared of who I am.

To fall is not to fail..

2009-05-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

All of my recent blog posts seem to be following the same general theme... reality hitting me smack in the head. This one will continue on with this theme.

Today I went to CGCC bookstore to pick up the books I need for my classes that start on Monday. I wasn't expecting 3 used books to cost me 250 dollars. That is when I started realizing just how miserably I have messed up this time. I have made so many poor decisions this last year and I am wondering how much more I need to see until I've finally had enough. My image of life shatters on a daily basis as I try to recover from some decision I made six months ago. Bottom line: I have become the opposite of the person I want to be. I am selfish, judgemental, hyprocritical and naive. (Most of these I have covered in previous posts) You'd think I would start to clue in after the first realization. Unfortunately, I am still acting out of my newly established characteristics.

In the book I've been reading, A Scandalous Freedom, it talks about how if one wants to overcome a pain, you have to face it head on, contrary to what my insticts tell me. I have spent the last 6 months to a year running from all the things that I'm scared of or that cause me discomfort. The result being lonliness, I have lost virtually all of the friends I started out with, and I am completely broke financially among a myriad of other consequences.

I ran away from church at the first sign of trouble and have been hiding at my "new" church. I can't say I've been totally impressed with Central, but I think I have had a hard time knowing all along I was just avoiding facing people and things I've been needing to deal with at East Valley. Therefore, I am returning to East Valley this Sunday and have emailed the manager of the Commons about letting me volunteer there on Sundays.

I have to start working my butt off. I have become extremely lazy. I'm ready to get back on track... as I always say.

I want to go to NAU in fall of 2010. In order to do that, I need to work constantly and apply for every single scholarship that comes my way. I need to start being who God called me to be and stop pretending and hiding. I'm sick of being something I'm not and building this facade that everything is perfectly fine.

I'm going to make more mistakes in the future, that is inevitable. That doesn't mean I'm a failure, it just means I have to figure out a way to fix it. That is exactly what I will spend this summer doing. Making up for the countless mistakes I've been making lately.

Hello Summer!

2009-05-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

Let me begin with saying, I absolutely love the summer time. I love the hot weather, that is definitely bearable contrary to what some may think. I love my summer schedule and how packed full it is. I love being productive, and this last school year has been a complete waste and got me off my normal track. I love being organized, and I finally have got my room back to normal - CLEAN. This entire year, while going to school it has been a disaster, but now I am back to my normal organized self and I couldn't be more thrilled. I like making money and having places to be. My summer schedule consists of me waking up at early hours of the morning, even earlier than I would for zero hour! In fact, tomorrow I am working at 6 in the morning at a store pretty far from my house, therefore I have to leave at 5:25 in order to arrive in a suitable time! I love going to work in the morning and having that part of my day over by 11 or 12. Tomorrow I have a long work day and will be at it until 3, but I definitely need the money. School starts on Monday and to say that I am stoked would be a complete understatement. I think I am really going to enjoy my classes and having that to do at night. Although my social life has pretty much come to a sudden hault, I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, I like being around the people I work with more often and my family. I definitely have more fun with my family than anyone else I've ever met, with the possible exception of Zeah. I have had so much fun hanging out with my family this week though and having the whole day to do it. We finally finished my mom's office today and it looks great!! Who would have thought she'd ever have her own office? And it is HUGE! I'm so proud of her. I'm glad she let me be a part of that entire process. Summer is off to a great start and can only get better from here!

A day at the bux..

2009-05-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

I think it is safe to say that I love my job, I love it I tell you. I just lost sight of that fact for quite some time. I survived a 13 hour work day and I wouldn't have it any other way. I essentially did every task imaginable that goes on at Starbucks on a daily basis, working for morning to close. The decisions I made in the morning impacted me greatly as a closer. We still got out late, but I think today was the best shift I have had in a very long time.
My throat hurts very badly from laughing so much without breathing the entire night. I haven't laughed that hard in years, if ever. Towards the middle of my day, the store became vacant and since I had worked so hard at the beginning of my shift, the four of us were able to enjoy a while to ourselves, just goofing off and not stressing about the work that had yet to be done, because it had already been done! Towards the end of the night, we picked up a lot and things got a little behind again. We closed 20 minutes late, but it was a good night.
Now I am on a mission to bring the fun back to the Bux. Yes, it is very possible to have a really fun time and get a lot done. I proved that today, even with my enormous amount of exhaustion. I'm excited to bring out the best in people, instead of adding to the stress of work. We don't get paid enough to not enjoy ourselves and that is exactly what I intend to do from now on. I mean, if I'm going to be working 40 hour weeks, I might as well make the best of it!

Lonliness

2009-05-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

You know, sometimes I wish I was a computer whiz because I found the perfect template for my blog, but I don't know how to transform it into the correct format. Therefore, I am stuck with this mediocre one instead.

Today I have felt rather lonely. I typically feel this way at every moment of every day, but today it seemed to be drastically intensified. That got me thinking that I don't know why I always feel so lonely. I am lonely in this cold world, but I have my best friend at my side at every single instant. Thinking like that makes me feel silly. I've spent a lot of time praying today, just talking to my best friend about how I'm struggling. Then I remembered to pull out my book of promises and came across this: "If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own. But because you do not belong to the world and I have chosen you out of it, the world will hate you. Do you remember what I said to you, 'The servant is not greater than his master?' if they have persecuted me, they will persecute you as well, but if they have followed my teaching, they will also follow yours." John 15:19
This verse really helped me remember my place. It's kind of strange to imagine what life would be like without Jesus always right there with me. I mean, life already sucks pretty bad as it is, but it would suck a much greater amount without Him to always bail me out and encourage me through all the circumstances I struggle through. Thinking of it that way, things never seem to be so bad.

Hello life!

2009-05-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

Today has been quite eventful, yet uneventful at the same time. It's finally safe to say that I am a high school alumni and a current college student! Graduation was shockingly fun last night. I never thought I'd meet so many people, but I was surrounded by people I didn't know the entire day and I'm not about to go the whole time without any friends! Recieving my diploma was very exciting after all! I had a blast with my parents at dinner, that was probably my favorite part of the day. Possibly a tie with seeing my best friend after the ceremony though.

Today was when everything went haywire. I woke up to instantly realize that I didn't have enough money to pay the money I would need to in order to attend my dermatologist appointment. I've never been in that situation before and saying that I freaked out would be an understatement. So, I ended up rescheduling the appointment. I felt like such a jerk for cancelling 20 minutes before my appointment.

Almost immediately following that, I got a call from Facelogic, the place where I had my interview today... the one I was extremely excited about and looking foward to, the one 27 miles away from my house.. and Chad talked to me about his concern for the distance I would be driving every day to work. I agreed with him and shared his concern. We talked about it, I told him I just wanted to see how the interview went because I really enjoyed our previous phone conversation and he assured me that the interview would be amazing because I blew all the other candidates for the job out of the water tremendously (made my day!) and that they were fully prepared to offer me the job. He said it was up to me, but logically speaking, didn't think it was wise to even attend the interview. I agreed, so he offered to keep my resume on file in case they ever open up a spa on my side of town. He said I would be the first person they contact. So even though I was emensely disappointed, I was greatly complimented at the same time.

Work was interesting today. I feel like it went pretty well actually. I am starting to get used to working earlier in the day again. Sky is about halfway through her training! I am always happy to see her there.

I explained my financial situation to my parents, they seemed to understand why I was so broke, since this month was completely full of unordinary expenses. I explained the lesson I had learned and even though they did seem slightly disappointed in me, they helped me out with gas which I could never express my grattitude for.

So, my first official day of being a high school graduate was pretty stressful. I guess life hit me like a ton of bricks, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

The last day of high school

2009-05-19T20:17:00.001-07:00

This is how today went:
First I slept in until the glorious hour of 7:30. Quite a treat, after an entire semester of waking up at 4:30. I then proceeded to hurridely complete my morning routine in order to make time to cook my celebration breakfast consisting of pancakes. I devoured 7 in record time! Then I took my goverment final and expressed my farewells to my fellow graduates, seeing as that was possibly the very last time I will set foot on that campus in my lifetime. Still neglecting the sentimental feeling everyone around me seemed to possess, I departed from the parking lot with an enormous smile spread across my face! The next item on my agenda was to see my newest friend Sky Mellinger on her very first day at Starbucks! We were able to talk for quite a while and I managed to learn so many cool things about her, I hope she is able to attend the ceremony tomorrow night! I also saw Gary and he wasn't near as hyper as the other day! While I was there I got a call from this skincare spa called Facelogic in Scottsdale that I sent my resume to a couple months ago. The guy I was talking to, Chad, said he was very impressed with the email I sent them and was wondering if he could interview me over the phone which I accepted. After talking for quite awhile we came to the mutual agreement that this would be a suitable job for me and set up a time for me to meet him face-to-face. I am beyond thrilled at this opporunity, I think this is the kind of job I have been searching for! Following that, I came home and discovered that I passed math with a 63% final grade, and I managed to get a 57 on the final which just so happens to be the highest test grade I've had all semester long. I guess not studying works better for me than studying! I made some delicious penne pasta and watched some tv and completed other tedious tasks that needed to get done. I took Sarah to her first day of work which lasted only 15 minutes, the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I waited in the truck for her but it was extremely hot out there. I felt like I was on the brink of my death from being overheated! The rest of my day is hardly worth mentioning, tomorrow I am sure will be much more exciting seeing how it's graduation and all!

That once-in-a-lifetime friend!

2009-05-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a real friend to someone. Not just the kind of person that gives you companionship from time to time or the people you wave to out of courtesy. I'm talking about the person you trust with all of your heart, with your life, with the things that you can barely admit to yourself. I think it is very rare for someone to experience that kind of friendship in their life because people are so selfish and base all decisions on what is best for them, or do things out of selfish intentions. So even if something appears to be in your best interest, your friends motives aren't for you at all, but they found something beneficial to themself in the course of that action. Though this is to be expected, it is hurtful sometimes, or it just distances you from that friend.

Anyways, I looked up the definition of a best friend in the dictionary (answers.com) and this is what it came up with: A best friend is a special pal who generally likes to do a lot of the same things you like. You tend to have more fun with your best friend than with other friends, and you can tell him or her more of your feelings, even secrets, because you trust that person more than anyone else. And your best friend feels the same way about you, sharing important ideas and feelings. It seems like your best friend understands you better than any other person you know. You care about each other a great deal. You share your good times and bad times with a best friend, and that person does the same with you..
The thing that stuck out to me was when it said that you share your good AND bad times with your best friend. It's the times when your best friend is there to stick it out with you when everything seems to be crashing in on you when it really counts. Sure, it's easy being friends with someone when they are all smiles, it's hard when you actually have to help them through a trial.

Thanks to my book of promises, I also found this verse:
You are better off to have a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble. Ecclesiastes 4:9
I thought this was cool because it's true, you can enjoy the good things that happen to you more if you have someone to celebrate with. Someone who can truly appreciate your accomplishments with you, is one of the greatest feelings you could experience.

All this to say, after looking back through the last 18 years of my life, I have had the privelege of having one best friend. I've had a lot of REALLY good friends, but none that I would consider to meet all of these characteristics (not saying it's easy). Jennifer, Katie, Andy, Kayla, Beth, Jessica, and Alyssa.. all really good friends that I was blessed to have. But after thinking it over, they all left me whenever things started to get tough. I think a true friend gives you the opportunity to mend mistakes and help you through the things that cause you to struggle so much that it takes a tole on your friendship. Well guess what, I've finally found that friend. Throughout my whole life, my friendships have always bumped up against my stupidity or my lack of trust, which is very hurtful to my friends. Instantly they run as far as they can away from my direction, or I run as fast as possible to escape the attachments that follow my mistakes. They have always let me run. But not my BEST friend. No, as soon as I tried that he told me that wasn't the way to work things out. I've never even had someone who was willing to fix the hurt that I've caused. Even when I don't offer my trust out so easily, he understands that it's difficult to do that but just gives his welcoming presense in case I need it. Or if I am just completely stupid and act before thinking it out, he always forgives me, even if it really has nothing to do with him at all and he has every reason to give up on me. You know who this description reminds me of? Jesus, who is definitely, above all, my closest best friend that no one could ever compare to. But while on earth, I think my human best friend is pretty darn close and I could not be more thankful for having him in my life. I get the opportunity to see God's glory every single day just by watching how he lives his life and it just makes me strive to also shine that glory. I just don't understand how someone like me gets to be such good friends with someone like him. I wanted him to know just how much he means to me and all that he has done for me.

I wish the sun would explode!

2009-05-17T17:54:00.001-07:00

I have taken liking to the format that I did yesterday. Because it allows me to explain my day, without really explaining it. I think it tells a miniture story that only I can decode which brings me great pleasure, so I think I will continue writing in that manner.

When are you going to get it through your head that it's Sarah's turn!?!
I was out of place
Yeah you were. Get your own stinkin' car.
Hey, so I know we don't talk anymore but good luck on your finals and graduating.
Who is this?
Jessica
What was the point of texting me that?
Bekahh!! Gary and Norbert are crazy today!
What does that mean?
Oh, nevermind
I've spilt 11 drinks already! And it's only 11!!
Oh goodness
Don't hate me but you're going in drive thru
I don't hate you
What is wrong with them!?
Bekah SAVE ME
Gary why are your times at 10 minutes?
huhhh!? hahahahahhahahahaha
Why is that funny!?
I'm just giving you a hard time!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Even though I yell at you for something every 5 seconds, you are the most legendary person we've got
Really?
We're going to Big Surf
That will be fun!
Big Surf isn't open
Why are they laughing in there?
Oh how I wish I knew
GARY FOCUS!
You've made 4 wrong drinks for the same customer!
Oh I'll make another one!
Oh do you want ANOTHER free drink? He messed up again!
Hey I love free stuff!
What are you up to today
Just relaxin.... ;)
oh.
BEKAHHH! Go on a trash run then you're outta here!
Aw thanks!
9 trips later..
ew there is sweat running down my back
Do you want a cold drink?
What's wrong?
I"m fine, just don't be mad at me.
I'm not, talk to you tomorrow then.
Why?
You don't want to know apparently.
I work at the sherrifs office
oh, do you like it?
I love it! It's so entertaining!
People are soo weird.
Did you just drop the trash can
oops...

Here are those stickers so you can tape your eyes open..

2009-05-16T20:53:00.000-07:00

Hey there Lady Kimble!
Don't say that, he's right there!
Don't hate me but you're going in drive bar..
I don't hate you.
Bekah make a new one
What is wrong with it?
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT!!!!!!!!
Let me talk to your manager
Bekah the customer is never wrong
Next time, cut the attitude
What attitude? I was just asking so I could fix it.
Oh my gosh, never question the customer
She really thinks I'm from Yugoslavia, so don't tell her shhh.
That's why you shut the window!
PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I AM SWEATING LIKE CRAZY, DOING FLOORS ALL BY MYSELF WHY YOU 3 ARE BACK HERE TALKING!!?!?!
well...
Bekah just don't go there
I wasn't really mad at you, I just have to be harsh to get my point across
I had been running, literally running, around all morning.. I'm sorry I was actually taking a breath for the first time in 3 hours
Yeah, you have been doing great
Bekah look the wall is bleeding again!
SEE I TOLD YOU!
Aw I like you. You are fun to work with
We never work together though!
We are right now!
Oh yeah!
Bekah I spelled your name right and Kristen didn't
Uhh... she forgot my coffee...
That's to be expected, don't worry I will take care of it
I wish you were here all the time so we would never have a bad experience
Oh look how much tips I made
It's a team effort, you didn't make them alone
True... ?
That's a huge pet peeve of mine.
So do I need to change for tonight?
Uh, what are you talking about..?
You knoww... ;)
No..
Alright.... ;)
OH MY GOSH! Poor girl, look at her face!
Dad! You can't just say that
See I told you that you could look a lot worse Bekah
He looks like he's going to jail
Oh he's autistic
That explains it!
DAD!!!!
I don't know if you could walk any louder
Oh I'm sure I could, I just don't know if I could walk any quieter
What are you thinking?
Well right at that moment I was wondering how girls can wear a bra all the time!
How did it go?
Oh it went all right except for my resulting headache from the clickk clackk clickk clackk
Umm... what?
*click clack click clack*
Oh.

You know it's Tuesday, don't you?

2009-05-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

I think I lost sight of what I'm all about...
I remember when I used to love being in drive-thru at work because I basically got paid to stand around and talk to people. Today I remembered that. I just have to make it fun, that is my job after all.

My job is to serve others
My job is to build everyone else up
I'm trying to get back on track with that..
How else am I going to show God's love to the people around me?

All I am is yours.
I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord to you surrendered.. All I am is yours.

That is my life story. I love that song, by Hillsong.
Maybe my lack of sentiment doesn't matter. I should be excited for graduation and yearbooks and all of the things I find to be pure nonsense just because it's important to everyone who is important to me. I'm starting to figure that out. So that is my mission, to start getting excited and rub that off on EVERYONE and stop being such a downer!
Ready settttt GO!

The Walls Bleed Coffee in This Place!

2009-05-10T21:10:00.001-07:00

After working a total of 23 hours in one weekend, living off of flaming lime hot cheetoes and repeating the same phrase continuously for the past 3 days... I think it is safe to say, I am exhausted! Work was nuts today, guy after guy was coming through to get their wife or mother coffee. I guess that is like the standard mother's day gift...Although it was a very long, tiring weekend, I can't say I'd have it any other way. Starbucks is my passion and there is no getting around that.

I am so thankful to become friends with Sky. She is such a lovely, beautiful girl and I consider myself truly blessed to have an instant friendship with her. I know she is going to make a great barista and I can imagine that I'll learn a lot from her and her wonderful character! I'm excited!

I hardly spent time with my mother today, but I think her day was special regardless. My dad and I got her a cd that has songs on it written by a lady that goes to EVBC and is the wife of the worship pastor for the service they go to. I could tell she was beyond thrilled to recieve it. I also made her a card which turned out pretty good, that was my favorite. I love giving cards to people!

All together, I would consider this a pretty good weekend! Full of opportunities to earn some money which I definitely need!!

I also heard a spectacular sermon tonight which I will explain in greater detail tomorrow.

Reality Has Hit!

2009-05-06T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today I was lucky enough to be confronted about my terrible perspective on life. I can't believe how selfish I have become. Actually, I can believe it. Everything I do, I look for the motive that will benefit me in the long run. That isn't how Christians work, they do things that don't benefit them just for other people. It's gotten so bad, that I have been wondering why people are coming short to "serving" me. It deeply saddens me that this is how I have become. Obviously it is a human trait, but one that I have tried my entire life to overcome. I have learned through many experiences that selflessness is the key to lasting friendships. Maybe that is why recently all mine have come to a crashing halt. It doesn't seem like it should work this way, but I can see now that it does.

This is probably the most painful thing I have ever actually admitted, but I think I really do run away from everything that hurts me. I never stick around, you get one chance and then I'm gone. As much as I announce otherwise, I am terrible at holding grudges. I still have some from Kindergarden. What a pathetic and miserable way to live. I become so absorbed in these petty scratches that I have missed out on so many joys that come with moving on.

I could be a really great sister to Sarah, and help her through all of these experiences that she is struggling with right now. After all, I have gone through most of them previous to now and would probably have some pretty helpful advice and comfort. Instead, I have cut her out of my life... why? Because she is struggling really bad right now so BEKAH can't count on her. Are you kidding me? Actually seeing that spelled out for me, I feel so foolish. How could I be so self-righteous?

Looking back over the past few weeks, I can't think of a single time I haven't turned the blame in a situation on anyone but me. I force everyone else to take responsibility for their mistakes and refuse to tackle my own. How hyprocritical. Just yesterday, my best friend was having a terrible day and I pushed him down even further by making him apologize to me for something that hardly matters at all. I just had to get credit for something.

I am so disgusted with myself after looking at all the details. I have turned into exactly the opposite of the person I have always wanted to be. I'm rapidly undoing all the work I have accomplished over the last four years, of overcoming so many enormous obstacles. Although, that may be a little dramatic, I can see how this will result if I continue in this perspective and mindset. I just hope it's not too late to turn it around. I guess that's where God comes in. He is there to get me back on track when I fall so hard..

8 days

2009-05-05T16:34:00.000-07:00

Well, so much for posting everyday! I think this would be more purposeful if I spaced them out though and only talked about the important stuff.

Lately I have been spending most of my time working on my Kant presentation which I found to be quite enjoyable. I also ended up getting a really great grade on it and it feels to have one final out of the way.

I also have been reading Psalm quite a bit lately. Last week at the worship service, my interest was peaked when Aaron Keyes kept quoting that book and all of the verses really got right to my heart. So I've been finding it to be very encouraging, especially through this time in life where patience is a necessity. I'm basically just waiting to be 18 and it can be very frustrating and painful at times. There is so much I want to do, but my age is holding me back.

My parents have been struggling lately and seem to constantly be taking it out on each other. I typically get stuck talking to my mom and it always seems like a pointless conversation because she tends to be very unreasonable in her thinking. At times, it makes me feel even more motivated to move out, but I also know I need to be here to help them out.

All in all, things have been going very well. I'm looking forward to this last month of my high school experience, that's for sure!

Promises

2009-04-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

I learned a lot today.
I learned a lot about people, about myself, about my imperfections, about God.

I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.
Psalm 62:5-6

One Hundred Percent

2009-04-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

So, I feel like yesterday deserves a better post so here goes..
Senior ditch day: Basically the whole senior class takes off the Friday before prom. That is, all the seniors except for me! Although my class sizes were extremely tiny, school wasn't so bad. I got extra credit in the majority of my classes, which I can definitely use. Then after school, I got a call from Michelle telling me that we got 100% on QASA! That was basically the best news I could have gotten.. all my hard work paid off! I went to the store to find Bethany, who is my future manager, who told me that she would be transferring me towards the end of the summer. I am fine with that. I think summer is going to be so busy that it will be nice to be familiar with one aspect of my life! Then I picked up Luke from school and we went to our favorite Starbucks and talked for a while and he went with me to help me find the place I have an interview at on Monday! It wasn't a scam after all, I just got the directions a little off. It's a company called Gulf Pacific and it deals with business management. Then after driving a while, we got to dinner at YC's. It was pretty good, I hadn't been there in a while. After that we decided to go on an adventure to a music place neither of us had been to before. It's called the Wherehouse. It was so awesome! We spent a great deal of time there and helped each other find new music that we would enjoy. It was a great day!

Now, I'm waiting for my parents to stop fighting so I can go get my blood drawn. It's the kind that I have to fast before hand and so the longer they take, the longer before I can eat. Let me tell you, I am starving!

Misinterpretations

2009-04-23T19:06:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like writing today. It wasn't a bad day persay.. just have some emotions built up and I don't want to share them with anyone.

I just have one thing to say.
Your shoes are sooo cute! They look just like ballet slippers for men!!
best part of today, hands down! haha

Nothing worth mentioning..

2009-04-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

Thank you for being involved in the discussion today.
I had my coffee.
Whatcha drinkin?
Verona, you should know that.
I came to school just for you.
Hello Rebekah, have you been staying out of trouble?
Let me review the kindergarden lesson from yesterday kids...
You don't have to sign up for the test, just go in.
You have to sign up for the test Bekah.
Do I have to sign up for the test? No.
Why do I have an appointment?
This is the coolest dressing room I've ever seen!
I love these shorts, I didn't try on any others.
I wouldn't want a guy to do my makeup, that's just too weird.
I've had a guy do my makeup.
I'm excited for prom, it's all I can think about.
I'm excited that I'm ditching prom.
Can you come in early? Yes.
You always have the cutest outfits!
Did you dye your hair?
No I just didn't take a shower.
I love cold caramel apple spices. I always leave them in my car for a couple days and then they taste perfectly!
You know, we make them iced right?
That would speed up the process.
Wow, that is a bright shirt you have on.
My wife likes it.
You know that place I have an interview at? It's a scam.
I drove to the place that she gave me, it doesn't exist. Only air.
I talked to Bethany today and she doesn't need you until after summer.
Oh, that long?
Yep so you get to stay here for a few more months!
Lift up your leg! I want to see those shoes!
I'm in a dress.
That's awkward.

Goodnight.

I've fallen and I can't get up!

2009-04-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

Today was virtually uneventful. I slept the day away, literally.
I slept through three of my classes without a problem.
I came home and slept for a good three hours.
In between my naps, I got a call concerning a job interview but it all seems a little sketchy. I've still got a interview set up for Monday, nonetheless.
My dad says that we need to talk about how I need to start acting my age.
I am kind of surprised at how little energy I've had throughout the day.
I'm assuming that my mornings are going to begin with a cup of coffee again, since I finally got my markout. Here we go again..
I was reading in Matthew today, when I wasn't sleeping and although I've already read it a hundred times over, it's my favorite chapter to read.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nore reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? "

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Matthew 6: 25-27 & 34

"Cinderella, Cinderella!"

2009-04-20T21:58:00.000-07:00

What a day! I finally got my sushi fix. Lindsay and I had Philadelphia rolls, Las Vegas rolls and Dragon rolls. They were all delicious. We also got frozen yogurt, but mine wasn't very good.. it was cookies and cream. Then I went to Tmobile to see if I could get a new phone since mine isn't working too great and I couldn't without my parents with me.. I hate being a minor, did you know that? So I spent some time reading about Kant today and then proceeded to clean my store for 6 hours. It drained me of all energy. What I want to know is, how the heck does someone get poop spread around the toilet?! Like EVERYWHERE.. It was the sickest thing I have ever had to clean in my life. Of course I am the one who had to clean it up. One customer asked me today if I was the Starbucks Janitor because the only thing he ever sees me do is clean. I practically am. I also found out today that my transfer to Gilbert/2o2 seems very likely to actually happen. I am so excited to start something new, I have heard nothing but great things about the manager there.

The people I want to throw stones at:

2009-04-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

I love it when it seems as if a sermon is directed right at you.
Forgiveness--it isn't a matter of justice, but rather a matter of the heart. I think it's easy for people to forgive when they feel as if what has been owed to them, such as an explanation or something has been done to make up for the hurt, has been paid. However that isn't true forgiveness, that is the foundation of resentment which leads to a very bitter mindset. The people that have hurt you wouldn't be able to repay what they "owe" in a lifetime anyway. I think I have spent a lot of time these past few months allowing resentment to build in me for the people that have hurt me. I have been betrayed and abandoned by some of my closest friends, people that I fully trusted and ever since the collapse of this trust, I have let the anger build. I've been focusing on a way for justice to be served. That is definitely not the way it works. They don't owe me anything.. not an explanation for their behavior, not even a service to make up for the hurt they have caused, nothing. It is hard for me to believe that that is how my mind works. After all that God has forgiven me of, without providing a penalty for my actions, I still pursue this mindset of resentment to the people who sin against me. Who am I to demand that they pay what they owe? I am worse than them. It's one thing to acknowledge that this is how I have been living and it's another to change it. That is definitely something that I am going to be praying for help in, to change my perspective on forgiveness.
Matthew 18:21

One day, she will be a knock-out!

2009-04-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

I decided that I would like to commit to writing something every day. I think as time goes on, I would enjoy the opportunity to reminisce on life as it is now and continue to see myself change.

Today has seemed to be everlasting. And get this, it's not even over yet! By no means has it been bad, just dragging on and on. Work was fine today. I love working on Sundays because they are typically my longest shift and for some reason, my Sunday regulars are quite pleasant. Peter and Elizabeth brought in their granddaughter and she was the most beautiful lil four year old that I have ever seen. I love working with Ashley, she is the most impressive shift I have ever encountered! I have yet to see her have an off day. That is really all that there is worth mentioning today, just a long day at work. I am headed to church in not too long and maybe that will inspire another blog post for today.

"What are you doing here?" is the question!

2009-04-18T23:13:00.000-07:00

I loved today. I spent the afternoon with my mother and had a delicious lunch at Oreganos. The waitress was really annoying me because she would take our soda glasses and refill them so often, that even if I hadn't even taken a sip since the last time she had filled it, she would fill it some more! And it was weird because the last time I ate at Oreganos was sometime in October I think and I saw one of my regulars at work there.. and today he was there again! What are the odds? Then I got a call asking if I could cover a pre-close shift at Southern/Longmore, and I told them I could come when I got off at Gilbert/2o2 at 7! Do you realize how far those 2 stores are from each other? It was ridiculous, it took me 30 minutes to get there. I really enjoyed working at Gilbert, that store is as close to perfect as it gets. 3 of my regulars came in and a whole bunch of people I knew from school, it was pretty weird. I'm not used to seeing anyone I know at work. Then at Southern/Longmore, I don't really know why they needed me to come in, because basically everything was done. They didn't have anything for me to do and so I was trying to figure out little things that I normally do and then I would discover that it had already been done! They basically kept me around to make it worth the gas, but it was really pointless. I'm not complaining though, I definitely could use that extra money. Their store was so gross though, I've never worked in a store that dirty. I don't think they ever wipe anything off.. it was gross. The people were really nice though.

So, all in all, it was a very great day!

Growing Old is Getting Old

2009-04-18T10:35:00.001-07:00

I spent the majority of last night reading over blog postings that I had written in the past. I remember the things I used to struggle with and it is a cool opportunity to see how God helped me to make my way through it and grow to become the person I am today. So I decided to start a new blog and consider sharing a more in-depth view of my day to day life with whoever chooses to read..

Today I am working at Gilbert/2o2, and to say I am nervous would be an understatement. It is the store I am hoping to transfer to, so I am having to prove myself. I am really going to miss my store. There are so many things that I love about it and I feel comfortable there. Sometimes in life, you hit a point where you have to jump out of your comfort zone. It seems like I have been bumping up against that point constantly over the last few months and have a strong feeling that won't be changing anytime soon. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited for all of the new opportunites that have come up lately and can't wait to begin this new stage of life. Graduation is only a month away. It is a terrifying thought, but even more exciting. I feel like my body roams the halls of the school everyday, but my mind is vacant. I don't see how this year of high school has been beneficial to me, so I have fallen into just going through the motions. I love to learn and this year, I have been robbed of that opportunity. My teachers act as if I wouldn't know how to tie my shoes or fill out a job application. I'm tired of constantly being condescended.

I think this post is extra long because it's my first one. The foundation of my current blog.. so I had to do a major update of where life is at. Now it is time for me to get on with the day!